Spirituality / Relationship

Been thinking about 'spirituality' in counselling this week as the workshop with Brian Thorne has been getting closer. I think more and more the word 'spirituality' sounds like 'relationship' to me, the relationship that I have with my family, friends, colleagues and of course clients. The connection that I feel and the changes that I experience internally, in my thoughts and feelings feel like a spiritual experience.


Hmmm .... Wondering what I mean by a spiritual experience ....

I guess I feel adjusted,I feel calmer,I feel warmer and I feel more like a whole person, a feeling of doing what I am meant for, a sense of feeling more peaceful towards others and a desire to be with others ...

ooooow! .... That's lots of different things ....

Not sure about 'what I am meant for', I don't think I mean some kind of vocation, but more like this is what this whole experience of being human is geared for. Trying to think of a metaphor ....

Trying to think of something outside of me that is just working smoothly, just purring away, and I get the feeling that it's doing what it does best, that's the feeling I get in relationship. And it feels counterintuitive to me sometimes, when my anxieties are up, when I am tired and want to be alone, when I tend towards alienation. And then I experience relationship, my openness to another and then sense their openness towards me, the feeling is of all the parts inside me working together to do the job that they were meant for.

Feeling less violent, feeling warmer towards other people, seems like qualities that 'spiritual' and/or religious people have searched for and to some extent achieved, and I guess it's something that I have tried to achieve in myself through other means, study, application of myself to certain principles. And while those things are helpful and often worthwhile, I find myself travelling to that place of peace toward another when I attempt to open myself to them as fully as possible in that moment.

Like relationship is a shortcut to what I have strived to MAKE happen in other ways. As I think about the communities I have lived in and the activities I have undertaken, they seem more now like 'something to do' while the relationship develops, perhaps the more anxious we are, the more we need activities around us to engage in while we slowly and very carefully move closer to the people around us.

And here I am bumping into the difference I experience in Counselling, for the most part there isn't another activity to engage in, there is the client, the counsellor and a space. The relationship is not being created while 'doing' something else ...

... or is that the case???

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